Currents
by anoIdfriend
Summary: SI OC as Luffy "Luffy sticks his feet in the water and watches them until the sky is dark and their ship is gone. He clenches his fists and asks himself if he really wants to be Pirate King. He feels the answer in his bones."
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** A lot of things are going to be different in this, but also pretty much the same.

I don't have a Beta, and I kind of suck at editing my own work. I've read over this a few times, but I'm sure I didn't catch all of the mistakes. I write to relax and because I love it, but I'm not perfect.

(1) Quote from _One Piece_ chapter 1, _Romance Dawn_.

 **Warnings:** Excessive use of commas. Violence. Self Insert OC.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own One Piece.

* * *

 **Chapter One.**

Luffy runs his fingers through his hair, roughly yanking at the knots he finds in frustration. He doesn't know what he's _supposed_ to do. He can imagine a manual. It tells him that he _needs_ to get to this destination without telling him how. It's all wrong; _he's_ all wrong. There are several important things that he lacks, and he just doesn't believe that he will ever be able to live up to his name. He doesn't believe in the _Pirate King_ , or at least not in a world where he becomes it.

There's a pirate crew in Party's Bar, and he can hear their laughter from where he sits outside. He imagines that Makino must be overworked and wants to help her, like he usually does on busier days, but he can't imagine facing _them_. A small part of him is too worried he'll mess it all up. There's a part he needs to play, and he's memorized the lines but there's no _feeling_.

The boy presses his back against the wall and bites his nails down until it hurts. The dirt under them tastes weird on his tongue- he focuses on that so he doesn't think himself to death. He wonders if he's _enough_ , if the person he used to be can turn into something larger than life. He ignores how his gut clinches when he stands up, how his stomach rebels when he pushes open the door.

He'll never know if he doesn't _try_.

The red-haired man is distinct, even amongst a crew of very recognizable people. He only remembers Shanks and Usopp's dad, but there are still a couple who are familiar to him. The fat man sitting next to an older man with black hair and a scar. Lucy, or Lucky, or something like that. He ignores them all and searches out Makino, plasters a crooked grin on his face and climbs up the stool in front of her.

(He tells himself it's _not_ because it's right next to Shanks, and he definitely _is not_ the fangirl he was once before. Not at all.)

"Hi, Makino!" His grin widens.

The woman's strained smile softens when she sees him. It always does, and Luffy thinks that maybe she's the kindest person he's ever met. There's no reason at all for her to let him hang around. She doesn't _really_ need the help, but she likes him. Or, at least, Luffy _hopes_ she does. She's pretty much all that he has in this small town, when Garp's not around. No one else has time to entertain a little kid. "Luffy," She greets him. "Where've you been? Have you had lunch?"

A little embarrassed (Shanks is _right there_ ), Luffy scratches the back of his head and laughs. "Eh, I forgot? I was out in the forest again." He peeks at the pirate from the corner of his eye and blushes when he sees the man's amusement. It darkens when Makino laughs, like this is a totally normal thing… which, it kinda is, but Luffy doesn't want to admit that. He's supposed to be more mature and responsible and stuff. He's practically an _adult_ by now, despite his child body.

He wants to be strong, though. Stronger than anything. Strong enough to save the people that might need him. He doesn't want to fail them, especially not if it means they'll lose their _lives_. And they don't have to join his crew, if he ever decides to make one. Luffy just wants them to be happy, and- as far as he knows- he's the only one that can help.

He doesn't know if he'll be enough, but he hopes.

So he turns to Shanks and covers up the way his hands shake by tucking them under his armpits. "You're a pirate, right?" He asks, even if he already knows. He can at least _bluff_ his way through this. "Do you have adventures?"

And either Shanks is _super_ drunk, or he sees something worthwhile in Luffy, because he doesn't shake the kid off. He grins, wide like Luffy's own, and tells the boy about sea kings and warlords and Marines. Luffy doesn't think he ever stood a chance, because he _wants_ that.

When the Red-Hair pirates leave for the first time, Luffy asks a question that _burns_. He wants to know, just as badly as he wants the kind of life Shanks lives.

"What's freedom?"

Shanks ruffles his hair, laughs. "You'll have to find out on your own, kid."

Luffy sticks his feet in the water and watches them until the sky is dark and their ship is gone. He clenches his fists and asks himself if he really wants to be Pirate King.

He feels the answer in his bones.

 _Yes._

* * *

The next time Shanks comes to Foosha Village, Luffy challenges him to a fight. "I could beat you with my eyes closed!" He can't. They both know this, but Luffy is determined to get Shanks to acknowledge him. To the pirate, he's still just a kid. Barely six and scrawnier than most, despite the harsh "training" (torture) his Gramps sometimes puts him through.

Shanks laughs him off, easily holding Luffy down with one hand. It's embarrassing, but…

 _Pirate King_.

He has to be enough.

"Take me with you!" _Please, show me what freedom's like. I want to see it. I want to_ feel _it._

"No way!"

Luffy doesn't show that it hurts him. He grins like he knows that Shanks will eventually give in and helps Makino out by wiping off the bar. He can't clean the rest until the pirates leave, and it doesn't look like they'll be going for a while. He's glad for that, even if he knows he'll return home more tired than anything. He's happy like this; with them.

He wants to keep this feeling forever.

* * *

Luffy kinda forgot about the bandits, but when they come into Makino's bar and humiliate Shanks, all he can feel is hot anger coursing through his veins. He wants to fight them, but he can do nothing but sit there while the idiot bandit walks all over his hero. He kinda feels like he's going to explode from the pressure, but the bandits leave before he can do anything.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?" He knows why Shanks let _that man_ -

He _knows_.

It changes nothing.

Luffy feels like strangling Shanks now, too, but he says nothing and stomps away, ignoring when the pirates call out for him to come back. He wipes away the angry tears with the back of his hands. Shanks is everything Luffy aspires to be, but he doesn't want to ever let anyone walk all over him like that, even if they're weaker. It's disgusting.

He forgets the fruit he was supposed to eat, such a major thing in another Luffy's life, and doesn't remember until much later that night. He completely misses his chance to eat it, and isn't even sure if he wants to. He can be strong without it. He can be _Luffy_ without it, he reassures himself.

Luffy doesn't entirely believe it. He goes to bed with his stomach in knots. Shanks left, and Luffy didn't go to see him off. The bandits are still out there. And the _Devil Fruit_ … The seven year old rolls over and shuts his eyes as tight as he can, as if this will fight off the guilt he feels for messing things up so badly.

He kinda hates himself right then. Shanks is stronger than he'll ever be.

* * *

The bandits come again a month later. Party's Bar is nearly empty when they arrive, and Makino has just finished washing all of the dishes. She makes him a glass of juice and talks to him about Shanks' crew. She says that she thinks he's brave for laughing it off, and Luffy feels sick because he agrees but he doesn't _want_ to. He never wanted to see someone he looked up to brought down like that.

The door opens before they finish their conversation, and they're rude to Makino and _maybe_ he can excuse that, because he _really shouldn't_ start trouble. He's not rubber, like the original Luffy. If he challenges them, he really might die, and he's scared of that happening again. He's already so invested in this life, still so young. And while Makino doesn't like it, she would hate it even more if Luffy died for her. So he grips his glass tight in his fist and tightens his jaw.

He _won't_ \- But he does.

Luffy wants to kill them when they start insulting Shanks while he's not there to stick up for himself. Shanks and Benn, and Lucky Roo, and Yasopp and everyone else on Shanks' crew don't deserve to be spoken about like that. They're all his friends.

(He used to avoid fights, and like all women he was terrified of large men. He wasn't anything special at all, just some bartender girl trying to live a steady life. His old self would've cowered behind the bar, even if they were insulting someone she loved. Luffy doesn't want to be that person. He wants to stand up for his friends- his _nakama_ \- even if he knows he's starting a fight he can't win.)

Fueled by anger, Luffy stands up on his stool, ignoring Makino's desperate whispers telling him to _sit back down_ and _oh, please don't_ and screams, "SHANKS IS A BETTER MAN THAN YOU'LL EVER BE!"

That's all it takes to piss the bandit off, but the idiot laughs it off and Luffy doesn't even bother pushing down the pure _hatred_ he feels. The bandit says, "That pirate? He was pathetic."

Before Luffy can even think about it, he's launching himself at the man, hands outstretched because he doesn't know what to do with them yet. He just knows he wants to rip and tear and hurt. The bandit catches him before he can do any damage, easily yanking him up by his neck. Luffy abandons his attack to claw at the man's fingers.

They end up taking him to the middle of town where all the villagers can see. He's on the ground, and before he can get up to escape, a foot buries itself in his back. The bandits laugh while everyone in the town looks terrified and worried. They don't do anything because they can't. It's useless. (Luffy's a kid, but is he a kid worth dying for?) The bandits beat him until his head rattles, until he can't think or see straight and his brain feels like it's bleeding. Still, he blindly lashes out, weakly hitting their legs and their arms when they come near him.

Their hits aren't as strong as Garp's, but his Gramps has never beat him down like this before. He's never been so exhausted, before. There are tears in his eyes and he can't tell what it's from: the pain, the anger, or the fear. Luffy tastes blood in his mouth when a kick catches his jaw and he's disoriented for a few moments, and their laughs are echoing over the ringing in his ears.

 _Pirate King_ , he thinks, because it's all he has to hold onto right now. _I'm going to be Pirate King_.

It feels like forever before Shanks comes, but the bandits are dead within seconds when he sees the state of the boy and the fear in the villager's eyes. Makino is crying, and Woop Slap is still on the ground, where he'd been begging them to _let Luffy go_. He doesn't speak to them. Doesn't even give them a chance to explain. His crew kills them without blinking. Shanks picks him up, wraps his arms around him, and Luffy clings so tight it _hurts_ but he doesn't let go. He's safe- finally, thankfully, _safe_.

Luffy cries in Shanks' shoulder. He doesn't want anyone else to see.

Later, it's Makino who takes care of him. She wraps him up in bandages and fixes his broken nose. He's missing a few baby teeth and his tongue hurts when he moves it. She cries over him when she sees all of the bruises, and it makes Luffy feel better, somehow. So he smiles his best smile and tells her that everything is going to be okay.

Even if he's going about this all wrong, it _has_ to turn out okay. It just has to.

(Later, when Luffy finally sees himself in a mirror, he notices a distinct scar under his left eye. He laughs.)

* * *

When Shanks leaves for a final time, Luffy can't help his tears. There wasn't enough time to do _anything_ , and he loves Shanks like he loves Makino. He doesn't want him to go, but Luffy understands why the man has to. Shanks has been there for too long, and he's a _pirate_. He's supposed to travel, and go on adventures with his nakama. There's nothing for him in Foosha Village, but still… Still.

Luffy clenches his fists. He won't see Shanks for a long, long time- if they ever do meet again. There's a whole lot he can say, meaningful things, but he doesn't open his mouth until he and Shanks are standing on the dock while his crew prepares to leave.

"You won't take me with you?" He bites his lip. He _knows_ it won't happen, but…

Shanks leans down until Luffy eye's meet his chin and grins. "Nope!"

"Then-" Luffy pauses, swallows, and gathers courage. "Then I'll find my own crew, and they'll be even stronger than yours! I- I'm gonna be free! I'M GONNA BE THE KING OF PIRATES!" It's a promise, when he finally says it out loud, and especially because he's saying it to Shanks. He won't break it even if it kills him.

Honestly, Luffy doesn't expect Shanks to give him his hat. He's not the original Luffy, not like the special boy who wormed his way in all of their hearts, so he knows that he probably doesn't remind Shanks of Gol D. Roger at all. It's shocks him when the man actually does give Luffy his strawhat. Luffy clutches it protectively against his chest and stares, wide-eyed, up at the still grinning man.

"Pirate King, huh?" Shanks' smile is a little soft, a little wistful. Luffy barely notices it, surprised as he is. "Then this is my gift to you. It's my favorite hat, y'know." He stands up and starts walking away, but- like an afterthought- he says, "When you become a great pirate in the future, you'll return that hat to me." (1)

Luffy puts the hat on and cries while the Red Hair pirates leave. He doesn't leave the dock until Makino tells him that she made dinner for him.

The seven year old grins as wide as he can, ignoring the pain it causes. "Thanks, Makino." He lets her lead him away.

He's happy.

And someday, he'll be strong.

* * *

Barely one week later, a ship arrives at the port. Monkey D. Garp climbs out, stretches his arms, and grins.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Notes:** So, I should probably mention this now: this fic will most likely be gen. No pairings, or at least none with Luffy. I just can't see it happening. SI!Luffy has no interest in pursuing relationships, especially not right now while he's still _basically_ a baby. He's got other stuff on his mind! Side pairings might happen, but I don't have any planned for now.

Also, I've given Luffy my terrible memory, so he's not going to remember everything correctly, or he might not remember something at all. If he mentions that he _knows_ this went one way in canon, please keep this in mind. He could be _totally_ wrong, or somewhat right. He's built up Luffy in his head to the point where canon!Luffy is the ideal human being- just stupider. He doesn't remember how selfish Luffy is or anything really _bad_ about him, just that he's strong and loyal and helps _so many_ people.

(Depression really sucks and it shows in my writing. I'll try to have a happier chapter next week.)

 **Warnings:** Some angst, Language, Probably unnecessary commas, and Violence.

 **Chapter Two**

Luffy doesn't remember that he's supposed to avoid Ace's spit. It hits him right in the cheek, and Luffy has to admit that it's _kind of_ impressive.

Garp laughs and claps him on the back, like there _wasn't_ some totally gross spit dripping down his bruised cheek. Luffy shoots him a disgusted look that he doesn't notice while he introduces the two. They glare each other down while he does this, because Luffy's not about to like a guy for spitting on him and Ace just doesn't like _Luffy_. The seven year old can't see why not; he's a _totally_ likable guy. Maybe. _Hopefully_.

Ace leaves without saying anything at all. Luffy uses Garp's jacket to wipe the spit off.

He's laying in the room when he realizes how different the encounter was from the one he barely remembered. Luffy was supposed to immediately forgive him, right? Like _Shanks_ would've done. He was supposed to smile and follow after Ace, not stay behind and help Dadan with some chores.

It's like a punch in the stomach, the reminder that he's not really like Luffy at all, despite everything that has happened. The straw hat on his head made him feel like he _could_ be, but he's not. They're different. He wishes they weren't, because, as an adult, it it's obvious just how much Ace is _suffering_ \- and he doesn't want to be helped.

Can he help someone like that? Can he make someone like that _love_ him, despite it all?

… Does he want to?

He takes his hat off and stares at it, his _treasure_ , and thinks that he should. Ace spit on him, and he's still angry just thinking about it, but Ace is a _kid_. He's just a kid. A lonely, hateful, _hated_ kid. Luffy resolves himself to help, even if he feels anxious at the thought of it. Even if he doesn't know if he's strong enough yet, he'll try.

Tomorrow, he'll try.

* * *

Luffy wakes up early and washes the dishes. He's a bit miffed at the bandits for giving him only a bowl of rice, and he doesn't want to help them, but the task helps him clear his head. He's still nervous, and his hands shake when he goes to dry them off. He's as prepared as he's gonna get.

When Ace leaves the house, Luffy follows. His hands are shoved deep in the pockets of his shorts, and his hat hangs on a string around his neck. He's not as in-your-face as original Luffy, but he tries. "Let's be friends," He says, watching as Ace's shoulders tense up. The boy's head whips around and he glares at Luffy like he wants to kill him, but Luffy knows what it's like to _hate_ someone with everything he has and Ace doesn't look like he hates Luffy. Still, Ace attacks. The seven year old expects it, but doesn't dodge- he's not quick enough.

His ribs creak when Ace's leg connects and Luffy easily goes down, groaning a little from the pain. "Don't follow me again," Ace tells him, and he runs off before Luffy can reply.

* * *

The next morning, he sweeps and mops the floors. His ribs still ache, but he doesn't think they're broken. Luffy is as sturdy as Ace is strong, but he's not a doctor so he doesn't know for sure. It doesn't hurt that bad, though, so he doesn't complain. He doesn't think Dadan would do anything about it, anyway, and while Magra may seem nice… Luffy doesn't trust them. They're _bandits_.

They're not like the ones that he met, not as far as he can tell, but- He can't change how he feels, not yet. He'll keep an open mind, but he doesn't have high hopes. He barely remembers them from the manga, always trying to focus on more _important_ things.

People are waking up by the time he's done, and he almost misses Ace slipping out of the house, but he catches the boy just in time.

He returns one week later, dirty and hungry and _exhausted_. He sits outside on the front porch until he can let go of enough of his anger to _somewhat_ forgive Ace. Luffy has to stare at his hat for four hours before he's able to trudge into his home and fall into bed. It's there that he closes his eyes and forces himself to forget about every worm he had to eat, every bathroom break that he couldn't avoid. He knows he won't be able to forgive Ace if he doesn't.

(When he's finally able to think without his thoughts clouding, he wonders how he survived the fall.)

He reluctantly lets Magra put his arm in a sling the next morning, after he bathes. He doesn't catch Ace on the way out, but it's already been a week so what will one more day hurt? Luffy uses that excuse to catch up on some much needed rest, mentally and physically.

He hates how much thinks about whether or not Ace is worth it- how often he tells himself that giving up would be easier. It's those times that he feels the least worthy of the promise he made to Shanks. He doesn't deserve the hat, but he _has_ it, so he'll do his best to live up to expectations.

Even with that thought, Luffy curls in on himself, covers his face with his right arm because the left one _throbs_. His throat burns and his eyes water. He's glad there's no one there for him now, even if he wishes for Makino or Shanks. He feels like the biggest cry baby and hates himself for it, because Ace is _alone_ and Luffy can help, but here he is, _crying_.

( _Is Ace worth it? Is he worth fighting for? I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm_ trying _.)_

* * *

There are dark circles under Luffy's eyes when he wakes, but he knows that if he doesn't get up _soon_ , he's going to miss his chance. He dresses as quickly as he can with his arm as it is and nearly throws himself out the front door when he sees Ace go to leave. The older boy looks at him like he's insane, and Luffy _feels_ kind of insane, but he doesn't let that deter him.

 _I'm going to find the One Piece_ , he tells himself. _If I can't do this, I don't_ deserve _that._ He just wants to help. He doesn't know if he's going about it the wrong way, or doing it for all the wrong reasons, but he has enough to worry about without thinking of that so he tries not to. He just… He just wants to help. Ace doesn't even _really_ have to be his friend in the end, even though it'd be nice to have _someone_.

The loneliness is starting to get to him. Luffy has never been so secluded before. He follows after Ace and thinks that it wouldn't be so bad to be his friend.

Ace kicks down a tree and Luffy scrambles to the side before it can crush him. He can't jump over it, or climb it with only one arm. He watches Ace run off with slumped shoulders and wide eyes.

 _Tomorrow, then_ , he decides. _Tomorrow_.

He shoves his palms in his eyes to keep the tears in and spends the rest of the day helping out with easy chores. They give him meat that night and Luffy manages to send a smile in Magra's direction, because he just _knows_ that it was Magra's doing.

A part of his mind is angry with him because _bandits_ , but the larger part- the one that _needs_ people like it needs air- shoves the anger down. They're bandits, sure, but Luffy thinks that _maybe_ he can give them a chance.

* * *

It takes him three months before he finally gets somewhere: Gray _something_ , he remembers it being called, and he can only remember part of it because of the color. It's the second thing he notices about the place, the first being the absolute awful _smell_. It takes him a few minutes to be able to breathe it in without wheezing or coughing or spitting something up.

He walks around, searching for Ace because he remembers Ace has _something_ to do with this place, but he doesn't yell or bring attention to himself. His arm is better and most of his bruises are faded, but he doesn't think he can avoid getting robbed. Luffy takes the long way to avoid the sketchier looking people. It reminds him of his old life, and he feels kinda bad for judging them so harshly after that, because _this_ world isn't like his old one. They're both violent and scary, but the people are… Better? Luffy doesn't know enough people to know for sure, but he thinks he's right. He's still cautious when he walks near them.

Luffy spends a while there before he decides that Ace is somewhere in the forest, so he turns back. He somewhat remembers the way back home, so he thinks that, even if he doesn't find Ace, he'll be fine. He does find him, though. Luffy scrambles up the tree when he notices someone else with him, a familiar blonde kid wearing a top hat, and stares him down until a name comes to mind. When it does, he _almost_ falls out of the tree.

Because Sabo, who's supposed to be just as important as Ace, who's supposed to be original Luffy's brother, is standing right there and- And he's not dead. Luffy's hands grip the tree bark so hard his knuckles turn white, and he's sure that he's going to have scratches on his palm later. He feels sick to his stomach, he _can't breathe_ ; he _doesn't remember_ how Sabo dies.

He wipes the tears away before they can leave his eyes and leans against the tree, trying to calm down. He doesn't know _Sabo_ , he's just some boy Luffy read about in a manga once, and he tells himself that it's okay because they're not friends or family or anything at all, but it's _not_ okay. Sabo is _ten_ , and real, and-

 _It's hard enough with just Ace._ He can't stop the tears this time, and yanks off his hat to stare at it, to remind himself that he _has_ to be worthy of this. Until he is, though, he can at least fake it. Luffy plasters a lopsided grin on his face, catches the end of their conversation, and drops down from his perch. "You want to be pirates? Me too!"

 _Ace is going to kill me_. The boy looks incredulous for two seconds, and then his expression turns stormy. He convinces Sabo to tie him to a _fucking_ tree.

(I'm _going to kill_ Ace.)

They talk about killing him right in front of him, but Luffy doesn't show that it bothers him, that his hands are sweating and his stomach is sick. He smiles, and keeps smiling, and asks if _this_ makes them friends now. "No," Ace nearly spits at him when he says it, looking so much like an angry dog that it would be funny if Luffy wasn't so concerned about his health.

Luffy's smile tightens and it hurts his cheeks to keep up. He doesn't usually smile this long- hasn't since Shanks left Foosha and Gramps took him to the mountains, but he holds it anyway because he's _trying_ (failing) to make friends, and not get too mad at Ace or too scared to function.

"Can you just _not_ kill me?" They don't answer him. His breathing quickens, and he tries to reassure himself by repeating that they didn't kill the original Luffy, but the other was so much more innocent, so much _better_ , so much more than _this_ Luffy can be right now.

The two ten year olds argue until they hear someone coming, and they cut Luffy out of his bonds as quick as they can before _disappearing_. Luffy moves to do the same, but he's not fast enough, and he's _terrified_. Whoever this large man is, Ace doesn't think he can fight him and win, and that means Luffy definitely can't.

 _Didn't- Wasn't the original Luffy_ tortured _?_ The man is asking questions, shaking Luffy's small shoulders, but the boy barely hears him. He can't believe he forgot _this_ , too! Something so extremely important and terrifying and could've been avoided, had he just stayed out of the way and kept away from Ace. There are hot, shameful tears in his eyes.

" _Where are they_?" The man almost shouts, and Luffy's eyes snap up to meet his.

He's confused long enough to make a mistake. "Ace?" He asks, and the man zeroes in on him. Luffy realizes then that the man never mentioned a name. He feels like throwing up. "I- I don't know." He knows almost exactly where they went.

But they're children. Luffy is an adult in the body of a child, even if he doesn't feel like one most of the time. Still. If one of them dies, Luffy would hate himself forever. It's better if he-

It's just better.

Luffy doesn't quite believe himself, but he steels his resolve and doesn't break eye contact when the man asks again where _Ace_ went. He weakly attempts to smile- a cocky one, a _taunting_ one and says, "Ace who?" His heart is beating out of his chest. He couldn't stop the tears even if he tried. He can't breathe, and he's shaking and _so so_ scared, but-

His smile turns into a grin, more genuine. He tries to ignore the persistent flashes of the _last_ time he was held like this, taken somewhere else and beaten. Somehow, he thinks it'll be worse. He really hopes not.

( _He's worth it._ Ace _is worth it, even if he's mean and violent and shitty, he's worth it._ Luffy almost laughs. _I can't believe I might actually like him. I should've known. All my old friends were assholes, too.)_

* * *

Porchemy is the name of the pirate, and he's looking for treasure that Ace and Sabo stole. Luffy figures this out while he's suspended from a rope, arms tied tight against his body and he thinks it's cutting off his circulation. He's _patiently_ waiting for the brute to stop whaling on him with a _hammer_. He's too tired to even feel genuinely angry with the man, like he was at first, or scream at him or do anything but _accept what's happening_.

Luffy really, really hates that he has no other choice in this. He's going to get stronger and someday he will show guys like Porchemy what it feels like to be small and weak and afraid. He bares his teeth at the man because it's all Luffy can do when he _finally_ goes for a sword. Luffy doesn't want to die, but he doesn't want _this_ to go on forever. This is no way to live.

He's surprised, then, at the last moment when he thinks he's really going to die in this place and, _oh_ \- _oh god he's going to_ die- _Ace_ shows up with Sabo in tow.

Luffy actually cries from relief. He blames it on the possible brain damage and lets Sabo drag him away.

* * *

" _Why didn't you say anything?_ " Ace demands as soon as they're all settled down. Luffy's arms and legs are twitching every now and again, and his stomach hurts but not as much as everything else. He's sure that he'll look like one giant, walking bruise the next day and resigns himself to staying in bed until the pain goes away. It's all he really wants to do at the moment, anyway. He's not made of rubber. He can't just bounce back, as much as he wishes he could.

Luffy smiles up at him. His jaw aches and his mouth is sore but he holds the smile anyway. "'Cause we're friends, right?" But Ace doesn't smile back, only looks on with blank eyes after his anger disappears. Luffy's uncomfortable with it, but he decides to be honest.

If Ace hates him because of it, so be it. He just really, really hopes that Ace doesn't.

"Because you're lonely too," Luffy says slowly, and he knows that Ace is going to deny it so he talks a little faster, a little louder, so they _understand_. "And at first I wanted to help you not be lonely anymore, but then- I just wanted to have a friend." The seven year old turns away and looks at the sky, loves how he can see each and every star even though he's seen this sight a thousand times before. He doesn't think he'll ever lose the appreciation for that. He blinks.

"Even though you always beat me up and never talked to me, it hurt less than being completely alone."

He feels a little sick admitting that. He hates feeling so vulnerable. Luffy takes off his hat and looks at it to give himself something to do with his hands; he's glad that it remained undamaged in the attack.

"Without me, you're alone?" Ace asks, and his tone is empty but the question leaves him just as open, just as vulnerable, as Luffy. Something inside of him eases.

"Yeah," Luffy says, settling for a short answer. It'd be too weird to share anything more.

Ace takes a deep breath. Luffy pretends he doesn't see the way the boy's shoulders shake. "You _need_ me?"

Luffy hums. "Yeah, of course." He doesn't know if that's entirely true, but it's been three months and he can't imagine a world without Ace.

"You want me to live?"

He knows, now, that he can't say anything too personal. He can't tell Ace that he deserves to live just as much as the next person, that Luffy is happy that he's alive no matter how much trouble he causes, that he's _important_. Luffy says "Why wouldn't I?" instead, and smiles the best smile he can manage.

Ace doesn't smile back, but there's a softness to his edges that weren't there before, his normally tense shoulders relaxed- if only just a little. They're not close enough to really _know_ each other, but that doesn't matter. They have time.

Luffy looks back at the stars, feels a weight lift off his chest, thumbs the rim of his treasured hat.

He's sore and hurt and just experienced the worst day in his life, but all he can feel is peace.

He wonders if _this_ is freedom. He wants to hold onto this feeling and forever.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note** : So I guess there are pretty obvious differences from canon. I don't really want to rewrite it, so things that aren't so different... I didn't write in. Sorry. I know that it'd be cool to read about them since Luffy is pretty different, but this is just a story for me to relax with. I might write something like this again, something more serious, but so far… No promises.

Also, thank you so much for your reviews and favorites and follows! I really appreciate them. I'm so sorry I haven't updated, and that this chapter isn't as great as it could be. I've been trying to write it for a while but I just couldn't get it right, so I finished it even if I'm not entirely pleased.

 **Chapter Three**

"I can't stay here anymore."

"You can live with us!"

 _The more the merrier, right?_ Neither of the boys give a thought to the bandits they share a home with. Even if they did say no, Sabo's important and Luffy won't leave him behind.

Luffy lets Ace pull him along by the wrist because he already forgot the way back, and listens while he and Sabo talk about treasure and Gray Terminal and Goa, and they're so much more familiar with each other than Luffy is with them. It makes the boy a little uncomfortable, to be honest, and he's glad that they can't see him. He doesn't want to let them know that he feels left out, and wonders if the original ever felt this way.

They end up sharing Ace's room because Ace insists in a way that makes him seem like he doesn't actually want to be near them and Sabo is laid back enough not to care. They don't invite Luffy, but when he tries to go to his own room, Ace follows him, grabs his futon, pillow, and blankets. He almost thinks that Ace is stealing them from him before a callused hand closes around his wrist and drags him to the bedroom where Sabo waits.

Luffy lets Sabo borrow his pillow until they can get another one, and Ace ends up shoving his own in Luffy's face. Sabo slips the pillow under Ace's head as soon as the older boy is asleep and shoots Luffy a toothy grin before plopping down next to Luffy. Their heads are small enough to share.

He doesn't know them yet, but… Does it really matter?

Luffy falls asleep with a smile on his face.

(Friends. _Brothers._ He hopes.)

* * *

Dadan accepts Sabo into her home with the same ease she accepted Luffy.

They wake up to her screaming.

Luffy, who has just learned he cuddles in his sleep, _laughs_ until his ribs hurt too much to laugh anymore, and then he wheezes because Sabo farts and Ace picks his nose and it's _too much_. She keeps yelling at them even when it's obvious they're not really listening.

He thinks maybe- _just maybe_ \- that Dadan is growing on him.

* * *

Luffy learns to fight for his food. With Sabo, there's less food to go around and for some reason that makes the bandits a little more vicious and a lot more protective. They steal off each other's plates, fight with one fist while the other clings to what they have. Luffy is used to this; what he's _not_ used to is joining in.

The first breakfast with Sabo is a war zone that Luffy is unwillingly thrown into when someone reaches for _his_ meat. He kicks the hand away before he can even think about it. Everyone looks at him in surprise because he's never done something like this before, but he thinks that _one more_ bowl of rice might just kill him. He holds the bone tight in his hand after that, daring anyone to try and take it from him. No one does.

Luffy thinks they might be a little proud. (Dadan insists that she is _not_ crying. She just has something in her eye.)

* * *

He hates the way Dadan's sake makes him feel, but-

 _Brothers_. Brothers. It's one of the best feelings in the world.

A smile, shared dreams, and a promise.

" _I'm gonna be Pirate King!_ "

* * *

They fight a lot. Luffy remembers in one childhood that all of the boys in the neighborhood used to do that for fun, except they had boxing gloves and they weren't nearly as violent or skilled. Ace and Sabo are kinda terrifying for ten year olds, at least to other people. Luffy just thinks they're cool… when they're not totally dominating all of their fights with him, anyway.

It's been sixty fights so far and he hasn't won a single one.

He likes hunting for bears a lot better, even if they're huge and he can't kill them on his own. (Neither can Ace or Sabo, though, so at least this knowledge doesn't kill whatever confidence he had in his strength. He still wants to be like them. So much. Maybe original Luffy wanted that, too.)

He "finds out" about Ace's father sometime around their hundredth fight. Sabo tells him, and Luffy doesn't know how he's supposed to react. He decides to be blunt; it'd be pointless to try and talk out feelings. Sabo's not that kind of person. Kinder, yeah, and more willing, but he's still very much a little boy.

"So?" Luffy asks, tilting his head a little. "He's still Ace."

Sabo smiles a little. It's not as happy as usual, but it's still there.

* * *

Luffy remembers that Sabo is a noble, but it still comes as a surprise when he's _recognized_. By his apparent father, no less.

It's even more of a surprise when he finds himself underneath someone's boot, head smashed against the ground in a way that reminds him of bandits, before he met Ace and Sabo and Dadan. He wishes for Shanks to show up, anytime now, so he can kill all of these people. He knows Shanks won't, but it's a nice thought, if not a tad morbid. Luffy finds he doesn't care when the foot presses a little harder and the idiot noble forces Sabo's hand.

He screams for his brother to come back, anyway. He still doesn't know what freedom really is, not completely- he thinks he understands, though, when his brothers are around. He thinks Sabo feels it, too, and he doesn't want his big brother to lose that. They're all helpless in this situation; there's nothing he can do for Sabo and he hates it.

Luffy just wants them all to be happy, and free. They _promised_.

(Sabo didn't look them in the eyes at first when he told them of his heritage, and how much he hated it all, how he would rather be poor than live with those people. Luffy doesn't know what to say, so he follows Ace's lead. He doesn't stick his finger in his nose, though. _Gross_.

Luffy didn't understand, not really, what that meant. He does now. He wishes he doesn't.)

* * *

The fire is his fault. Not entirely, but he can't bring himself to blame Ace and knows that- if he _knew_ \- he wouldn't have agreed to working with Bluejam. It's not like they had a choice, either. It was work or die, and while Luffy wishes he could stay on his high horse and never associate with shitty men like Bluejam, he realizes that he might need to in order to survive. Still, though. Still.

Ace isn't dragging him by his wrist this time. He has a tight grip on Luffy's hand and is pulling him along as fast as he can. Luffy knows that he's slowing the both of them down, but he's having a hard time breathing and doesn't know if it's because of the flames or if he's having a panic attack. He hasn't had one in a long time, but he thinks this situation warrants one. It's not the most convenient time to freak out, sure, but it _is_ his fault and-

He can hear people screaming. They're burning alive. It's horrible; one of the worst sounds he's ever heard and it's terrifying. He wants to help them, but there's nothing he can do without placing himself in that same situation. He doesn't want to burn alive. Luffy stares at the back of Ace's head and tries to speed up because he especially doesn't want _Ace_ to die like that. He doesn't want to watch it, or hear it, or be the cause of it.

The heat from the fire burns his exposed arms and legs and he's sure he's been caught by it a couple times, but Ace always pulls him away quick enough. He's- he's dragging Ace down. Wants to tell Ace to leave without him, but he already knows that he won't.

Either they both die, or they both live.

Someone's blocking their path and Luffy can _feel_ his dread; a stone in the pit of his stomach. _Bluejam_. They can't fight him; he's strong; they're tired and hurt; he's-

Luffy furrows his brows and sets his shoulders. He looks at Ace and the determination in the ten year old's eyes. Luffy balls his free hand into a fist, digs his nails into his skin. Because, even if they are going to die here, Luffy refuses to go like a coward. He refuses to give up. He sucks in air until his breathing mostly settles. His lungs still burn and his chest hurts but it's fine.

Dadan and the bandits are the ones who save them, in the end. Luffy passes out as soon as they do, and he realizes then that he _trusts_ them. He trusts them enough to take care of Ace, and enough to make sure that Bluejam is _dead_.

* * *

Luffy wakes to the news. Ace is tied to a tree, covered in burns. Dadan is hurt as well, but Luffy doesn't register that- not really. He doesn't register very much at all.

 _Sabo is dead_.


End file.
